CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

My initial reaction to conflict is either to avoid the issue at hand or to stay and fight or argue my point out. These reactions are often accompanied with my heart racing, sometimes a knot in my stomach and perhaps some muscle contractions. I have learned from sad experience that this approach incapacitates my ability to effectively channel my energies to employ some tried and tested techniques for conflict resolution.

Over the years, I've come to understand the need to momentarily pause and assess assess the root of the conflict and ponder how best I can work with all parties involved to resolve the problem. I normally jump into one of the five modes of conflict resolution depending on the issue at hand. These modes are:

• Competition
• Collaboration
• Negotiation or compromize
• Avoidance
• Accommodating

A recent assessment revealed my tendency to employ 'Collaboration' than the other conflict resolution techniques. Since all these methods of conflict resolution require a person to have control over his or her thoughts and emotions, I often strive to :

• place myself in the shoes of those I have conflict with- trying to think what they may be thinking, feeling and the perceived fears they may be having. This helps me not to focus too much on myself in a way that obscures my ability to evaluate both sides of the issue clearly and coherently.
• accept the possibility that I might be wrong in my assessment of the issue and thus not hold too tenaciously to my point of view and seek the best possible solution to the problem at hand. This often frees me from  any rigid attachments to my viewpoint and thus enables me to have control of my emotions.
•  leave and take a walk to clear my head and free myself from negative emotions when necessary.
• offer a prayer to calm my nerves and also gain assistance from the heavens to solve the problem in question.